A few more weeks ( 5 to be exact) and we`ll be on our way to meet our girl! So many thoughts and emotions when I think about this. I think "peacefully terrified" sums up how I`m feeling! I feel so at peace with what we`re doing, and its good and its right. But at the same time, its unsettling, and I`m unsure how the transition will go...will she like us? How hard will she grieve? We want her to grieve, as terrible as that sounds, because it means that she was attached to her caregiver and will be more likely to bond to us, but the thought of her grieving and feeling so lost and unsettled makes my heart ache. Adoption is a beautiful hard mess. Of loss and new life, bound up in grief and joy. She has another mommy out there in China, somewhere, who I feel like loves her and is hoping she is loved and taken care of. She wasn`t abandoned until she was 2 months old, which tells me that someone tried to take care of her. For us to be given the gift of this daughter, someone else has suffered loss. And Zuri, above all, has suffered such a hard loss of her biological family. Adoption is never plan A, it never should be plan A...but it can be a beautiful plan B.
We look back and can see a bit of the story God is writing, and we are so thankful for His provision and blessings in this story. It has been an humbling, growing experience, one from which we will never recover and never want to recover from. Our hearts have been changed, and broken, and when we see the faces of these innocent children living out their lives in an orphanage, I don`t know that I can ever wish to not know. I`m scared..scared to visit the orphanage in China, and see more faces. I`m scared at the knowledge I`ll carry around, and the faces I`ll see in my dreams and hurt for. Proverbs 24:12 says that "once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don`t know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." And the knowledge of knowing seems like a heavy burden at times, you want to just turn away and live your life like normal, and go on about your busyness...but you can`t. Its there, and it convicts and calls. It would definitely be easier and not cost as much money :) But God doesn`t call us to the "easy and convenient". And He doesn`t call the equipped, He equips the called, scripture bears this out many times! (think of Moses, Paul, Gideon, so many examples) Jesus doesn`t say to take up the heavy painful cross when its a good time for us, or our children are grown, or we have more money, or a bigger house...He asks us to take up the cross when He calls us to it!
So here we are, almost to the end of this journey, and ready to start the beginning of the next, transitioning Zuri into our family! We know this won`t be without its challenges and hard times, but we know that this little person is so worth it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AunwVtcTves&feature=youtu.be
She seems to be a bit of a firecracker :) She loves to eat, likes to play with dolls, loves to climb, and gets upset if her movement is restricted :) Typical 3 yr old!
Our Family!
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Saturday, July 16, 2016
We Are...Dossier To China!
Its getting real over here. Things are moving right along, faster than we thought it might, actually. Now the paperwork is over and out of the way (well, mostly..) This envelope represents hours and sweat and tears...literally. When people talk about adoption paperwork....they aren`t kidding. I am so GLAD to have this out of my possession and finally in China.
Now the fun preparations can start...like decorating her bedroom, buying cute new (to me) clothes for Zuri to wear...trying to get our remodel project done so we don`t have to worry about that later. If we don`t hit any major delays in China issuing the final approvals, we could be traveling as early as the last part of October. And thats really not that far away!
We`re trusting God that the last bit of funding will be in our hands, and there will be no delays with that. We have applied to several grants and are waiting to hear back now. From funds we had raised previously and our own personal funds, we went into this only lacking around $10000.00. Which seems like a large amount, but when compared to the whole cost of the adoption..well, it feels good to have had that much to put towards it.
So now...we get to sit back and wait for China to do their thing! I`ve waited 2 years to say those words.. "dossier to China" and it just feels really really good. But also scary. Things are going to change soon beyond what we can even know how to prepare for. Oh, we`ve done the training and the reading and have prepared as best we can..but until we actually step into this new reality and go get our girl in China...well, there doesn`t seem to be any more preparing to do, except to just DO it. And thats the scary part :) We are excited and peaceful about the changes coming (or else we wouldn`t be doing this) but the unknown is always just a little scary!
And for your viewing pleasure, because she`s just so cute....these are older pictures, but hoping to get updated pictures soon!
Its getting real over here. Things are moving right along, faster than we thought it might, actually. Now the paperwork is over and out of the way (well, mostly..) This envelope represents hours and sweat and tears...literally. When people talk about adoption paperwork....they aren`t kidding. I am so GLAD to have this out of my possession and finally in China.
We`re trusting God that the last bit of funding will be in our hands, and there will be no delays with that. We have applied to several grants and are waiting to hear back now. From funds we had raised previously and our own personal funds, we went into this only lacking around $10000.00. Which seems like a large amount, but when compared to the whole cost of the adoption..well, it feels good to have had that much to put towards it.
So now...we get to sit back and wait for China to do their thing! I`ve waited 2 years to say those words.. "dossier to China" and it just feels really really good. But also scary. Things are going to change soon beyond what we can even know how to prepare for. Oh, we`ve done the training and the reading and have prepared as best we can..but until we actually step into this new reality and go get our girl in China...well, there doesn`t seem to be any more preparing to do, except to just DO it. And thats the scary part :) We are excited and peaceful about the changes coming (or else we wouldn`t be doing this) but the unknown is always just a little scary!
And for your viewing pleasure, because she`s just so cute....these are older pictures, but hoping to get updated pictures soon!
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Happy Happy News!!
It is with much happiness and excitement that I get to resurrect this blog for its original use...ADOPTION :) The last year has been filled with much change and tears and new beginnings of life with Poppi....but still the conviction and the longing and the knowing that there is another child waiting was still strong. And wouldn`t you know....God works in quiet mysterious ways to accomplish His plan. Its funny to me, and you`d think I would`ve realized by now that Gods miracles are pretty much never the big grand "show" that I`m looking for. No...they seem to be much quieter and less noticed...at least for me anyways :) Suffice it to say, we are again in a position to move forward with our adoption. The little girl that we had hoped to adopt is no longer available, but thats okay, because she has a FAMILY and a MOMMY and DADDY coming for her! And thats all that matters.
We have, however, been matched with the cutest, sweetest, happiest little girl...She will be 3 in August...we have named her Zuri, and she is rocking the 21st chromosome! In the videos we have of her, she seems very spirited and energetic, so we`ll probably have our hands full once she`s home :) We have completed our homestudy and are now waiting for USCIS approval, which means that the USA will approve us as adoptive parents and let us bring a child into the US. And as soon as thats done, we`ll be sending our dossier to China. As it looks right now, we could possible travel as early as October, but that depends on everything moving along with no big delays in processing and approvals. God has this, and the timing is in His hands, so we`ll just sit back and let Him work it out for us :)
Meet Zuri! This is an older picture, but below is a recent video of her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQvCJc1OlsY&feature=youtu.be
There has been many unknowns to us on this journey and it has had really hard moments and discouragements. But also many uplifting joy filled moments, of seeing what God has been doing behind the scenes and working this all out. I find myself waiting for the "bad" things to happen in this process, but there have just been a few very minor hiccups. I have to continually remind myself that this is Gods doing and His work, and He will work it all out. Its not all done and completed yet but there seems to be no reason that we will not be able to complete this adoption :) Thank you to everyone that has reached out and encouraged us, it really meant a lot!
Praying that God will bless your days!
It is with much happiness and excitement that I get to resurrect this blog for its original use...ADOPTION :) The last year has been filled with much change and tears and new beginnings of life with Poppi....but still the conviction and the longing and the knowing that there is another child waiting was still strong. And wouldn`t you know....God works in quiet mysterious ways to accomplish His plan. Its funny to me, and you`d think I would`ve realized by now that Gods miracles are pretty much never the big grand "show" that I`m looking for. No...they seem to be much quieter and less noticed...at least for me anyways :) Suffice it to say, we are again in a position to move forward with our adoption. The little girl that we had hoped to adopt is no longer available, but thats okay, because she has a FAMILY and a MOMMY and DADDY coming for her! And thats all that matters.
We have, however, been matched with the cutest, sweetest, happiest little girl...She will be 3 in August...we have named her Zuri, and she is rocking the 21st chromosome! In the videos we have of her, she seems very spirited and energetic, so we`ll probably have our hands full once she`s home :) We have completed our homestudy and are now waiting for USCIS approval, which means that the USA will approve us as adoptive parents and let us bring a child into the US. And as soon as thats done, we`ll be sending our dossier to China. As it looks right now, we could possible travel as early as October, but that depends on everything moving along with no big delays in processing and approvals. God has this, and the timing is in His hands, so we`ll just sit back and let Him work it out for us :)
Meet Zuri! This is an older picture, but below is a recent video of her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQvCJc1OlsY&feature=youtu.be
There has been many unknowns to us on this journey and it has had really hard moments and discouragements. But also many uplifting joy filled moments, of seeing what God has been doing behind the scenes and working this all out. I find myself waiting for the "bad" things to happen in this process, but there have just been a few very minor hiccups. I have to continually remind myself that this is Gods doing and His work, and He will work it all out. Its not all done and completed yet but there seems to be no reason that we will not be able to complete this adoption :) Thank you to everyone that has reached out and encouraged us, it really meant a lot!
Praying that God will bless your days!
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Poppi Jane
Poppi Jane...born August 20th, 2015....after a 2 hour labor :) A 6# 8oz, 19.5" bundle of love.
Whew! I`ve had 4 babies before her, but I`ve been increasingly nervous with each one, and she was no exception. And the nervousness was increased 10 fold when we got to the hospital to check in for the induction and were told that "the labor and delivery rooms are all full and we`ll call you when we have a room. Oh and no eating or drinking while you wait." Gah. We were 2 hrs from home, so we couldn`t just go home and wait! It could be 2 hrs, 4 hrs, who knew?! And I was sick from not eating and nerves, and getting a nice big headache...but miraculously 45 min later they called (we were in the hospital cafeteria, where I was watching Mathan eat a nice big plate of biscuits and gravy) and said they had a room ready. Yay!
So...we got up there and at 11:16 am, we met our beautiful new daughter, a gift from God, who makes no mistakes. We are so thankful for her safe arrival.
She is well loved by her siblings and doesn`t get a lot of time to lay by herself :) We are all doing well, and it seems unreal that she is already 3 weeks old.
2 days old, waiting to go home...
So...here we are, starting to get a "new" normal established, which hasn`t been quite as bad as I thought it might be :) The older 3 go to school, so its just me and Jurnie and bebe dear during the day. That kindof seems like a vacation sometimes :)
I`ve struggled a bit again since she`s been born, with all the changes the last 9 months have brought...but trying to hold onto what I know, that God is good, even when it hurts, and He is faithful! My heart and hands are full at the moment, but it sure seems like there is room for more! A certain little girl in Ch*na is still waiting for her family, and that makes my heart hurt for her still. But God knows!
Blessings!
So...we got up there and at 11:16 am, we met our beautiful new daughter, a gift from God, who makes no mistakes. We are so thankful for her safe arrival.
2 days old, waiting to go home...
So...here we are, starting to get a "new" normal established, which hasn`t been quite as bad as I thought it might be :) The older 3 go to school, so its just me and Jurnie and bebe dear during the day. That kindof seems like a vacation sometimes :)
I`ve struggled a bit again since she`s been born, with all the changes the last 9 months have brought...but trying to hold onto what I know, that God is good, even when it hurts, and He is faithful! My heart and hands are full at the moment, but it sure seems like there is room for more! A certain little girl in Ch*na is still waiting for her family, and that makes my heart hurt for her still. But God knows!
Blessings!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Every Child Has A Dream...to Belong and Be Loved
So...today I want to share something that is close to my heart! Every Child Has A Dream....it`s an adoption grant organization started by a young family with a heart for the fatherless, and a dream to help adoptive families with the expense of bringing a child into their family. They have worked hard to get this started and funds raised, and they have successfully gave out 2 grants to families! You can check out their website here http://www.everychildhasadream.com/ to learn about their work and the inspiration behind what they are doing. The grant requirements are Christian families with no prior divorce history in either spouse. While they aren`t opposed to helping families adopting young healthy children or infants, the greater focus is given to those adopting children with special needs or sibling sets.
They have an Etsy shop,
https://www.etsy.com/shop/EveryChildHasADream?page=1, which has several different things for sale, and I personally have bought some of their items and love them! Take a look, and you`ll probably see something you would like, and what better way to spend your money?! You can also find them on Facebook, check it out and "like" the page, Every Child Has A Dream,https://www.facebook.com/EveryChildHasADreamAdoptionGrantMinistry?fref=ts so you can keep up with what they`re doing! They have a couple of fundraisers coming up so keep your eyes out for them.
Adoption is heartbreak and redemption, hope and brokenness, messy and hard...but I believe it is so worth it. I can personally attest to being deep into the process, and feeling so wrung out and trying not to worry about where all the finances would come from....just to know that there are ministeries out there that are willing to help ease the financial burden a bit....that means so much. It was actually a blog post wrote by Anna, who is one half of the manpower behind all the hours spent to make this happen, here at http://moremudpiesandtutus.blogspot.com/?m=0 that spurred us on to make our dream become a reality, and opened our hearts to special needs adoption.
If you feel led, share this blog post, pray about supporting their ministry, search your heart to see if adoption is something you feel led to. There are so so many children waiting, just waiting, to be seen and loved.
Blessings on your week!
They have an Etsy shop,
https://www.etsy.com/shop/EveryChildHasADream?page=1, which has several different things for sale, and I personally have bought some of their items and love them! Take a look, and you`ll probably see something you would like, and what better way to spend your money?! You can also find them on Facebook, check it out and "like" the page, Every Child Has A Dream,https://www.facebook.com/EveryChildHasADreamAdoptionGrantMinistry?fref=ts so you can keep up with what they`re doing! They have a couple of fundraisers coming up so keep your eyes out for them.
Adoption is heartbreak and redemption, hope and brokenness, messy and hard...but I believe it is so worth it. I can personally attest to being deep into the process, and feeling so wrung out and trying not to worry about where all the finances would come from....just to know that there are ministeries out there that are willing to help ease the financial burden a bit....that means so much. It was actually a blog post wrote by Anna, who is one half of the manpower behind all the hours spent to make this happen, here at http://moremudpiesandtutus.blogspot.com/?m=0 that spurred us on to make our dream become a reality, and opened our hearts to special needs adoption.
If you feel led, share this blog post, pray about supporting their ministry, search your heart to see if adoption is something you feel led to. There are so so many children waiting, just waiting, to be seen and loved.
Blessings on your week!
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
In the waiting...
Oh the waiting! Waiting to see what God is doing, what He`s going to do...sometimes I have a feeling of anticipation, to see how God will work this all out. Because it sure seems like He`s going to have to work a pretty big miracle! And the trusting...trust is hard for me. Period. And waiting is hard also :) I know when we were knee deep into the process and fundraising, I would see Gods provision and blessing...just not always in the way I thought it would be. Its funny, how we think that Gods blessings and miracles will be great miraculous things, when a lot of times it seems like they are so quiet we maybe don`t realize what it is at first.Maybe the miracle won`t be what I`m hoping it will be, but maybe a quieter miracle worked in my own heart.
But.
I`m finding God in the waiting, even though a lot of times it just feels like I`m all alone with this incredible grief and (sometimes) anger. Not just grief and sadness over the little girl that will never be ours, but also over what feels like the loss of a dream. Oh, we still have that dream, its just going to take a lot more work and trust than what we first thought. Maybe it will be soon (oh, how I hope) or maybe it will take many more years to see fruition. Only God knows! I try to be okay and trust God, and sometimes, I am successful, other times not so much. Other times the hurt and bewilderment and yes, anger, over how it has all turned out makes me ask WHY, and cry lots of tears. I can see God in this, but not how I thought it would be. I have a reluctant acceptance of things, and I *want to trust that God will work good out of all my feelings... I think its something like my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. Oh, so weak!
Honestly?
Mostly its okay, deep down, but sometimes its not. Its just always there, close to the surface, and then it just comes out. And I know that this hurt is nothing compared to what others are walking through and I tell myself that it could be so much worse. And sometimes I feel so...I don`t know, like I need to just get over it! So I`m trying :)
And now, time is moving on, and I`m 18 weeks pregnant, still sick a good bit, tired (obviously, who isn`t when pregnant) and hoping my heart issue would maybe let up a bit so I could have a bit more energy. And still waiting on that burst of energy and feeling good that`s supposed to accompany the 2nd trimester?! I think it may be passing me by... But otherwise, its going well, and my heart is starting to open up to this child I`m carrying. Atley is praying "PLEASE let it be a boy" and the girls are just excited that a real live tiny baby will be coming to live at our house :) Mama is just praying for a happy baby that will sleep! And they are all still praying every night, "help us to adopt another little girl" which still makes my heart hurt a bit at those words.
And for your viewing enjoyment, a picture, so you can all see how big I`m getting :)
So we go on, one day at a time, trusting and hoping that God will make His plan known in His time. And trusting that He in knitting this child together in His perfection. The verse that says "All things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are the called according to His purpose" has taken on a new meaning for me.
Blessings on your week!
But.
I`m finding God in the waiting, even though a lot of times it just feels like I`m all alone with this incredible grief and (sometimes) anger. Not just grief and sadness over the little girl that will never be ours, but also over what feels like the loss of a dream. Oh, we still have that dream, its just going to take a lot more work and trust than what we first thought. Maybe it will be soon (oh, how I hope) or maybe it will take many more years to see fruition. Only God knows! I try to be okay and trust God, and sometimes, I am successful, other times not so much. Other times the hurt and bewilderment and yes, anger, over how it has all turned out makes me ask WHY, and cry lots of tears. I can see God in this, but not how I thought it would be. I have a reluctant acceptance of things, and I *want to trust that God will work good out of all my feelings... I think its something like my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. Oh, so weak!
Honestly?
Mostly its okay, deep down, but sometimes its not. Its just always there, close to the surface, and then it just comes out. And I know that this hurt is nothing compared to what others are walking through and I tell myself that it could be so much worse. And sometimes I feel so...I don`t know, like I need to just get over it! So I`m trying :)
And now, time is moving on, and I`m 18 weeks pregnant, still sick a good bit, tired (obviously, who isn`t when pregnant) and hoping my heart issue would maybe let up a bit so I could have a bit more energy. And still waiting on that burst of energy and feeling good that`s supposed to accompany the 2nd trimester?! I think it may be passing me by... But otherwise, its going well, and my heart is starting to open up to this child I`m carrying. Atley is praying "PLEASE let it be a boy" and the girls are just excited that a real live tiny baby will be coming to live at our house :) Mama is just praying for a happy baby that will sleep! And they are all still praying every night, "help us to adopt another little girl" which still makes my heart hurt a bit at those words.
And for your viewing enjoyment, a picture, so you can all see how big I`m getting :)
Blessings on your week!
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Hard things...
So this is a tough post to write, in more ways than one. As you know, we were so excited for Mathans 30th birthday, because then we would be able to start actively looking for our little girl. Well, that came and went, and we found the most perfect little girl. She was so cute and perfect and I just loved her (still do) so so much. She felt like "my" little girl. So we went about the business of getting our paperwork ready to send to China, requesting permission to adopt her, and had it all ready in less than 24 hrs!! We weren`t letting any grass grow under OUR feet!!
Fast forward a few days....we become aware of a very unplanned and pretty shocking event to happen in our lives. Baby # 5 will be joining our family in August. There, I said it. I`ve been trying to be in denial over everything that has happened so quickly but theres no denying it anymore. So because of the pregnancy and some other factors, we lost our wonderful little girl. We can`t move forward with her adoption at this time. I won`t say that I understand or want it to be like this, my preference wouldn`t be this road. Its been rough, that`s maybe an understatement. On top of grieving this little girl, who felt like my own and was loved SO MUCH already, I have been pretty sick with morning sickness, which is pretty much all day sickness. I have so many questions for God, most of which I`ll probably never have an answer to. I was so angry...I worked through that and now I`m kindof at the trying to accept part. I know deep down in my heart that God is good, always, my brain just doesn`t always get the memo. I also feel like that for God to give us this baby, right now, at this point in time, knowing we would lose our little girl, it must be a really special child. I`m just going to be blunt and honest, because this is what I`m working through...I`m having trouble accepting this pregnancy...I know how that sounds, I know..its just the truth and I`m working through it. So prayers for that would be most welcome.
We still feel led to adoption, and after the baby is born we will assess everything and more than likely start the process back up. My heart is towards adoption, I believe in it so much. Part of me has questioned God as to why it is better to bring another child into this world, than for us to bring a child into a home that has no home or family right now. I can`t see the answer to this question yet, and maybe never will but I have to trust that God is working something out for our good. Someone shared a quote with me that made me sit back and think and gave me hope..."Don`t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith." I`m going to remember this.
I know there will be some questions regarding the money that people have so generously shared with us to bring our child home....at this time we still feel like there will be an adoption. It`ll just be a little longer down the road than we anticipated. If we come to a point where we feel we probably aren`t going to try again, we will return the money that we know who to give back to, and the rest we will pass onto another family that is adopting. If anyone has questions about this, please feel free to contact us. We want to be good stewards of what was given to us.
So in closing, we would ask for prayers as we work through this...this isn`t what we would have chosen but it`s where God has us for now. I would also ask for prayers for the little girl, that another family would see her and choose her, that she would have a family that will love her so much and teach her about Jesus. I can`t bear the thought of her staying in an orphanage, she needs to be loved. It hurts my heart to think about her, but I know God has a plan for her life also. I had bought some things for her...they have been put away and I don`t know if they will ever be gotten back out or not. Part of the reason I haven`t wanted to share this news with anyone is because I haven`t been in a good place to talk about the adoption or the pregnancy. Its coming but its still hard to talk about. If anyone has any questions please ask us, we will share. It literally feels like I lost one of my children that is here at home even though I never saw her in person or got to hold her. And thats probably what hurts the most, I`ll never get to see her, or cuddle her, or see her meet her siblings, who have prayed for her every night for a long time. I won`t get to see her meet her grandparents or her little cousins. But I will pray for her, that she will recieve all those things in another family.
Thanks for listening and if you feel to pray we would appreciate it!
Blessings on your week!
Fast forward a few days....we become aware of a very unplanned and pretty shocking event to happen in our lives. Baby # 5 will be joining our family in August. There, I said it. I`ve been trying to be in denial over everything that has happened so quickly but theres no denying it anymore. So because of the pregnancy and some other factors, we lost our wonderful little girl. We can`t move forward with her adoption at this time. I won`t say that I understand or want it to be like this, my preference wouldn`t be this road. Its been rough, that`s maybe an understatement. On top of grieving this little girl, who felt like my own and was loved SO MUCH already, I have been pretty sick with morning sickness, which is pretty much all day sickness. I have so many questions for God, most of which I`ll probably never have an answer to. I was so angry...I worked through that and now I`m kindof at the trying to accept part. I know deep down in my heart that God is good, always, my brain just doesn`t always get the memo. I also feel like that for God to give us this baby, right now, at this point in time, knowing we would lose our little girl, it must be a really special child. I`m just going to be blunt and honest, because this is what I`m working through...I`m having trouble accepting this pregnancy...I know how that sounds, I know..its just the truth and I`m working through it. So prayers for that would be most welcome.
We still feel led to adoption, and after the baby is born we will assess everything and more than likely start the process back up. My heart is towards adoption, I believe in it so much. Part of me has questioned God as to why it is better to bring another child into this world, than for us to bring a child into a home that has no home or family right now. I can`t see the answer to this question yet, and maybe never will but I have to trust that God is working something out for our good. Someone shared a quote with me that made me sit back and think and gave me hope..."Don`t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith." I`m going to remember this.
I know there will be some questions regarding the money that people have so generously shared with us to bring our child home....at this time we still feel like there will be an adoption. It`ll just be a little longer down the road than we anticipated. If we come to a point where we feel we probably aren`t going to try again, we will return the money that we know who to give back to, and the rest we will pass onto another family that is adopting. If anyone has questions about this, please feel free to contact us. We want to be good stewards of what was given to us.
So in closing, we would ask for prayers as we work through this...this isn`t what we would have chosen but it`s where God has us for now. I would also ask for prayers for the little girl, that another family would see her and choose her, that she would have a family that will love her so much and teach her about Jesus. I can`t bear the thought of her staying in an orphanage, she needs to be loved. It hurts my heart to think about her, but I know God has a plan for her life also. I had bought some things for her...they have been put away and I don`t know if they will ever be gotten back out or not. Part of the reason I haven`t wanted to share this news with anyone is because I haven`t been in a good place to talk about the adoption or the pregnancy. Its coming but its still hard to talk about. If anyone has any questions please ask us, we will share. It literally feels like I lost one of my children that is here at home even though I never saw her in person or got to hold her. And thats probably what hurts the most, I`ll never get to see her, or cuddle her, or see her meet her siblings, who have prayed for her every night for a long time. I won`t get to see her meet her grandparents or her little cousins. But I will pray for her, that she will recieve all those things in another family.
Thanks for listening and if you feel to pray we would appreciate it!
Blessings on your week!
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