Letting go...

I`m not really sure where to start??!! The last 2 weeks have seen a lot of ups and downs....and lots of different emotions. We started this journey to a little girl in Peru...and we had such excitement and HOPE and it just felt right somehow. Then we learned of another family who also felt led to this little girl and felt that she is their daughter....now we had a dilemma. What to do?! Continue on, knowing that God would place this child in the home He had picked for her and trust if we weren`t her parents that He would show us another child from Peru? Or just stop pursuing her and adoption from Peru altogether? Decisions decisons....we prayed and prayed and begged God to show us which direction we needed to be going. We definitely didn`t want to be in "competition" with anyone over a child, and we just felt pretty torn. Little by little though, we began to feel God saying Let her go....
We both came to the same decision on the same day that we needed to let her go and trust that God would provide. We both felt peace about it...and then it seemed that God confirmed our decision not even 30 minutes later, by something that happened. We are still okay with this, and felt that God had put another direction in our hearts, and another country to go to (that ironically we neither one have ever felt drawn to, and actually didn`t think that the children were all that cute...I repent of this now :) ) We struggled pretty hard against this direction....We are still waiting for the confirmation that this is it, but we are hoping and trusting that God will move the obstacles that stand in this path like He has the others before it.
This https://www.booster.com/mwolfadoption is still going and all I can tell you is that the shirts won`t have Central America on them....but I can`t say yet which country they will have :) Trust me....as soon as this all gets sorted out, I will be shouting it from the rooftops!!
We still feel led to a little girl with Down syndrome, I don`t know why that`s so strong on our hearts, but it is. It`s such a different direction from what I`ve always pictured our adoption looking like, a little brown brother for Atley :) People have asked why we aren`t wanting a boy since Atley is sorta outnumbered :) and I can`t really say for sure why it`s turning out this way, other than I trust that God has worked it out for our good!
I`ve worked through so many emotions this week, some of them I really would rather not be feeling :( but the most prominent one seems to be sorrow and tears. I feel something that I can`t really put into words, concerning our child, who we have yet to see or know about, but it`s heavy and it sits on my heart,  and I cry out to God to take care of our child for me, wherever she might be. It`s hard to imagine missing someone that you can`t even picture, but to me it feels like something is missing, and it`s felt that way for awhile. I have also felt extreme frusturation at the waiting process of getting this all figured out....patience and trust is not my strongest feature...! I still don`t know yet and was really hoping to not go into the weekend not knowing, but I just have to keep trusting that God will work this all out and it will all turn out SO GOOD and RIGHT in the end.
And I also have to say that we are just standing AMAZED at what has happened with the tshirt fundraiser!! We never EVER expected it to raise this much...guess you could say we had pretty little faith. So we just want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who felt led to buy a shirt and for all the other donations also. I really can`t say how much it means to know that there are people that support us and are willing to share in this burden. It seems like such a large amount of money to raise somehow, but we are (trying to) trust that God will provide! We are only 4 shirts away from the goal of 50...and that`s just amazing to us. Only God!